Creating A Perfect World.....That Pretty Much Nobody Wants To Live In

The latest in the saga of, "250 year old things that hurt me today," Old Glory now takes center stage. For whatever reason, the symbol of the American Revolution has offended the sensibilities of delicate flower and failed NFL quarterback, Colin Kaepernick. Aggrieved, Mr. Kaepernick dissolved in tears to his social justice benefactor NIKE (*see swoosh) who promptly halted production of a new line of sneakers emblazoned with 13 stars representing our original 13 colonies. Why Mr. Kaepernick was so aggrieved is still a mystery. What is known however, is that justice has been served as both NIKE (*see swoosh) and Mr. Kaepernick have radiated glorified righteous indignation throughout the media garnering the attention of presidential candidate snowflakes who too are now calling these 13 stars hurtful. Hoorah!!!

Interestingly, what no one finds hurtful is that NIKE (*see swoosh) revenues were published at $36.4 Billion for fiscal year 2018. Colin Kaepernick's NIKE (*see swoosh) endorsement deal is said to be worth about $20 Million. That's a lot of money. So, here's the thing.......

Most of NIKE (*see swoosh) factories are located in Asia, including Indonesia, China, Taiwan, India, Thailand, Vietnam, Pakistan, Philippines, and Malaysia. The majority of these factories are located in Vietnam. In Vietnam, 80% of the NIKE (*see swoosh) workforce are female. The workers are illegally forced to labor more than the 48 hour statutory work week. Workers face unsafe working conditions spending as much as 70 hours per week in factories with a mean temperature of 95 degrees Fahrenheit. All for a wage which falls far below the so-called living wage of $400 per month. This translates to approximately $0.65 per hour, per worker, gross. Let's put this in perspective. In order to equal the first million dollars of social justice warrior Colin Kaepernick's endorsement deal, 5000 asian women must work 38 straight days in sweltering, unsafe factories for 65 cents an hour. Furthermore, in order to afford a pair of NIKE (*see swoosh) Old Glories, an asian factory worker would have to work 320 hours in the aforementioned conditions.

One final point of perspective, The latest ad campaign went as follows:

I bet NIKE (*see swoosh) Asian workers sleep a little more soundly knowing that because of the sacrifice of Colin Kaepernick, they won't have to worry about seeing 13 stars come across their sewing machines and presses.